rEVOLUTION

In the beginning, man created the wheel. And he was proud of his achievement. But after a time he realised it was kinda boring. It just sat there being – well, a wheel. So he made another one, and then two more.
They just sorta hung around for a few thousand years being used for carts and barrows and such, and then man discovered the wonders and glory of steam propulsion. Man thought he was quite a clever little fellow, ‘What a clevah little fellah ah is,’ he said, ‘now all ah needs tah do is run two ribbons ah steel from one end ah the country twixt tha other, set ah big boiler on top ah big wagon, tow a heap ah little houses on little wagons behind it and ah’ll make a fortune’.
This he called the ‘locomotive’.
Sure he could travel hundreds of miles in a fraction of the time it used to take riding even a good horse, but he was kinda limited to his choices of destinations. If there were no tracks, the locomotive, or ‘train’ couldn’t go there!
So man said to himself, ‘self, if ah could make mah locymotive smaller, lighter and put it on ah smaller, steerable wagon, ah could at least go where ah want, when I want’.
For a few years he tinkered and toiled with different ideas and designs, but they were mostly too big, too noisy (his chooks stopped laying from the fright), and were prone to exploding at inopportune moments. He apparently hadn’t discovered pressure gauges yet!
Worse of all, this new form of locomotion was just way too damn slow. Sure it was faster than his old horse. He could now wiz around at a death-defying 10 miles an hour instead of relying on beasts of burden to haul him and his gear around at an amazing 5 mile an hour..…. But man wanted more.
And man also bores easily; he missed the freedom his old horse used to give him. The ability to get off of the main drag and head out into the bush whenever he felt the need. Lo and behold, the next step in the revolutionary ladder came the internal combustion engine.
Man said to himself, ‘Self, if ah use this new-fangled combusty engine and strip off half ah this shee-it offa mah steam car, I could have mahself ah real hoot’.
Now, you gotta remember that this particular man was quite possibly a Yank, so his patience was probably getting towards the end of its tether. So he then thought, ‘Stuff thet, Ah’ll jus get mahself one of those new-fangled pedal bike contraptions and slap a motor ta thet’.
Unfortunately, he forgot to add some brakes as well and died shortly thereafter. Apparently not all of the buffalo had been slaughtered after all.
Three others blokes had been keeping an eye on this guy though. Many around thought he was just another raving loony, all but these farsighted few.
They saw him and his two-wheeled contraption and what they saw had them salivating. Two of them saw the possibilities of joining together and making what would be a big, huge cumbersome road-bike covered with chrome, leather, with a big noisy engine, ridden by tough looking blokes with tatts and beards.
The other bloke was a true visionary. He saw long-travel suspension, pro-taper bars, upside down forks, and maybe, just maybe one of ancestors would be able to discover the Holy Grail – two-wheel drive!
He to had dreams of being able to head out bush like he used to on his horse, before the country was all fences and roads and towns. He wanted to be able to get back to basics away from what looked like a barren, paved polluted future. Getting away from all off the bullshit that comes with so-called civilisation and riding around the hills and valleys, not annoying anyone, just him and his mount. And at the end of the day, sitting around a campfire with a few mates, talking about the days riding and having a few quite drinks.
And from truly humble beginnings, some of which may even be true, evolved the trail tested and battle proven bikes that we all ride and love today,

If only he had the foresight to buy up a load of land for us all to ride on as well….