Holidays.... week TWO!

Damn what a head fuck!

And it stayed on a high level of 'ping' until last Tuesday when I went to Legal Aide to find out just what the fuck am I going to do. When I had walked out of the courtroom, the words 'Jail' and 'Trial' and 'Disqualification' were filling my head. So much so that I didn't hear my trial date.... 

It wasn't till I got home and levels had evened out a bit and I realised I had better call the Courthouse to find out. Lucky I did as I also found out that I'd walked out without filling out my bail paperwork?

God Donut!

Now..... one of the things I hate about.... well... me, is how I react to certain negative situations. 

I don't like being pushed. Not so much physically, but mentally or emotionally. And sometimes both the mental side and emotional sides intertwine. And it depends on who does the pushing as to how I'll react. Some (read 'most') of those at work know that if they push me to far/hard, I'll push back. There's been times where they keep piling the workload up and up and up onto us. Now.... where other workers are sniping and whinging behind the bosses backs, or making snide remarks, I'm the one fuckin goin OFF! I don't care who hears. If I have to look the big boss in the eye and tell him we're being pushed to hard, I will. Not that it does much good though, as it all flows down from head office and we're at the bottom of the proverbial hill, but maybe, just maybe when you make enough noise - those that make the decisions feel the rumblings. Another 'side effect' of feeling pushed, is I withdraw into myself and I turn away from those I love, and that love me for that matter. It's not something I do on purpose, but it's more of a defence mechanism - to circle my wagon and keep everything/one at bay. I guess it's a Lone Wolf kind of reaction - Look after myself and if it turns to shit, I've got no-one else to blame.

Where was I... oh yeah, Legal Aide. Grrrrrrrr, I'm trying not to say too much just in case I put the Oigles on myself. Suffice to say, they kinda think the Magistrate is overreacting as to the charge of careless driving. I'm guessing my best bet is to just go into that courtroom and keep my bloody mouth shut.

I guess I'll find out in May.

Good thing is now I can concentrate on time with my kids, spending some quality time with my girl, sorting a few things out on Phoenix, getting a bit more practice in on the guitar and the uke, and not head fucking myself.